THank you so much Artmis for your congratulation to me.
Arash

I can not type farsi in here and this is awful. Sometimes you can not say your feelings in foreign languages. I do not know how I can set my Windows for farsi language here at home. It is shameful that I do not know when I should go for yasouj. I try to enjoy being here but I know deep in my heart that I must leave for yasouj.
Arash

I 'm standing here in a total different view point. I do not know what will come next. It is to hard to wait for something that you do not know what it is and when it comes. There is something suspicious coming but what and when you can not say. There is a sense inside me that puts my functionality below zero. I really do not know if I should go to yasouj or I shpuld stay here. It is too difficult for me to sit and watch. I should stand aside passively and watch what will come next. In next few days there comes some news and I can understand what should I do. Going again to yasouj is something like putting me in grave. Again I will be dead for sometime. It is good news for my good friends I know.
Arash

I can not be available for month(s) and I hope I can surf sometimes from where I can not imagine. There were no Internet station in yasouj 4 month ago and I do not know what can I find there now. I'll be here till they send someone in place of me and then I must go to yasouj.
Arash

I'm home again. There is another striking news. I will go back to yasouj and I should remain there for 7 month. It is the most recent news about my military service. I do not know how should I respond to this. There are many things in the world that can happen and we can not do anything for them. God saves me cause I need it. I do not know why when your life turns as regular the situation changes so that you can not hold up yourself! I need your prayer to survive this new situation.
Arash

Gof saves the queen. You know that was so strange that the big guy wanted to see me. Nabil insisted that he missed me so much. I do not know what to say the only thing I wanted to say is that "God Saves the queen". I'm home and the day of women and Moms in Iran was last night. Shame on me I was out till 23:00 and I did not buy anything for mom. I hope I can buy some stuff! today that I really do not know what it will be like. Again for a dear one I'm late. Shame on me. Lets say I hope the best for all women and all human beings. I need real and so bad punishment but I can not decide on its quality and quantity. I will anounce you later on.
Arash

I came back from my military base. It was strange that someone like Nabil cvalled me. I really can not understand him. I do not know what to do with him.

It is wednesday again and I must go to military base. I'm happy that last week was so good and I had the chance to speak with my dear friend. Wish her best things and if I were in her shoes I whould startes my chance to stay there.
Arash

You know why I develope 3 blogs at a time? It is because each blog shows one aspect of me and at all you can find my conflicts in these three blogs.
Arash

I'm back in city and live like human beings. It was a bad weekend with a little bit studying and a lot problem with guys around me. It is too hard to live with foolish persons and wann be smart. It makes me mad. The foolishness in the base is killing. They run out off soap and this make an epidemic condition of diarrhea. It majes me mad that they do not pay 100000 Tomans for soap and they pay milions for other things.
Arash

Today I am ready to go for military service. I 'm going to a base and live there for 4 days. In this 4 day I have so little or almost no access to life outside. It is too hard to be in an isolated place with people who I think are not normal. This 4 days a week service for free is too hard for me but it is a time to be alone. Loneliness is a bless sometime that you can explore and manipulate yourself. It is so good for me to change and I should appreciate this. Let me say thank God for such a bless. I hope there become some stronger and more determined person. Artmis has dropped me some offlines and said that she would try to stay there in US. I wish you best things and I wish life brings you all expected and wanted matters Artmis. Good luck and try your best for the things you think about and you become determined on them.
Arash

I 'm here so tired but confident of myself. I know myself, my problems, my bad and good things. I'm working on myself to make a better and better self. I hope for a better person to come out of this one and I'm trying hard. This is a big fight as I said and I'm going to go through difficulties ahead. I need you and all my friends to pray for me, I really need this. When the time came for newly shaped and made Arash to come out you will find, there is no Arash left.
Arash

I do not know what I should say. You know sometimes you find out there is something wrong within yourself. You know the exact problem, You want to solve it, but there is something stronger than you and it is you. There is a big fight inside me and I should kill myself within. Each side wins there is a loser left who is me. It is a big paradoxical problem. I'm the winner and the loser of a big battle but I hope for the good side (The side of the light) to win. I will kill myself for this side believe me.
Arash

I can not again access to the blogs. I can not read any blog hear again but It is fortunate that I can write one. I do not know why they do not block the source maybe they want to know how we think. It is forbidden for us to access to the thoughts of others but they must know what we think.
Arash