You know there lies conflicts beneath and I bound to live in silence. The duality in me is the battle between a satan and an angle. I do not know who will win but I hope for the darkness to come to an end. I try my best to become better and improve but it is so hard to fid why for what you do. The conflict lies there and exist. This is my problem and I should solve it within myself then I can be good enough to call you and others my friend.
Hafez said "PAK SHOO AVALO PAS DIDEH BAR AN PAK ANDAZ".
Arash

I want to type Finglish.
Mordab Salhast,
Amajgah neizeie sorkhe toloeha,
Aeeine dare partove zarde ghorobha,
Naghsh afarine chehre e mah o setareha,
chashm entezare rizeshe ehsane abrha,
sili khore saboore savarane badha,
hasrat kashe taravoshe joshane cheshmeha,
Aramgahe rooshan e toofan yadha,
Abeshkhore nahani khokan o gorgha,
doshnam nooshe sarzanesh e gonge sakhrehast.
Mordab,
Salhast,
ke aram o bisedast.

Nemat Mirzazadeh, (Sohori).

I have found a new philosophy. I promised to myself to keep it for myself but I think I should publish it for you baby. We all human beings are like a body. There are different type of cells in a body like different type of humans. The worth of each cell differ from the other. There are brain cells, stem cells, Muscle cells, and other. Some of humans are like brain cells and some like muscle , etc. Muscle cells can be like workers, Brain cells I am not sure maybe inventors, .... You know in the big society no one is important but the whole is important. We make a body but there is no one so special. I find out that with or without us the life of the body goes on and maybe I can say that God is the whole body. He can see the whole system and he knows each cell. We all live and die like the cells of the body. Our worth differ but we all are from the same root. I think that we should play our role and we should perform it in the best way.

Hi,
Another day started. I have done so many good things yesterday and one was going and visiting Kaveh. Meeting a good friend always give some energy to me and among many good friends Kaveh is something special. Dear Kaveh God bless you for being there and for giving out energy. I think every of us need at least one good friend that can rely on him and know that in every moment there is no there is no profit in friendship except being with eachother. Passing time with happiness and forget all your worries and horrors. It is the most blessing side of friendship.
Arash

Hi,
My mood is low again, I was happy that I can hear from a friend but now after 4 days in a military base I only sit here with no message. I think some days are hard but they are not hard enough to broke everything.
Arash

Hi, I hope all things go the right way nowadays. Think globally everything went on right that we are here now. I think there is a hand behind many things that saves us.
Arash

Hi,
The world is somehow strange nowadays. I feel so bad, I smell bad things go to take place in here. I have bad taste of future. I need you my friend. I need you to hug me baby. I have the feeling of a remainder. A remaider of a big war who lost his everything even his humanity. I think they make us to loose everything. I think they bring up us like this with no hope, no love. I should tear this out. I wanna love, I wanna be loved, I wanna shout out, I wanna wish. I want to dream for a life without dictatorship. I dream for a freedom. Yell out.
I wanna love baby. I wanna be loved too.
Arash

You know I came back from military base today. Nobody has heard of me for 4 days. Everybody was anxios about where I was. They think something wrong must have happened. Ofcourse there was something wrong. There was a camp for Basij there and it made me to go beside a river. The worst thing was that my mobile set went off and I just feel some freedom. Free from everything I was alone. Standing lonely beside a river every thing aroud is strange. I was a stranger there looking from far distance, To youngsters who come to play. They play with the weapons and I just wanted to pray. Pray for freedom, for a life without guns. It is a big dream but we can call every year the year of love and freedom except war.
Arash

I must go to my military base! It is awful but I find again myself alone. I can think about myself. I think I must abandon this country for where and when I do not know.
Arash

I should go out of this body soon!
I should try to have that moon!
Get freed from my chain
I can give light away to abate some pain
Love is true my dear,it is
Come with me to see it with ease,
It is something like pain baby pain
when you have it you lost some gain
You will find out at last some day
That you fall in love and should pay
For both side the price is so high
You should share it, but in tie
we will love eachother for ever
and we will end it never
............


I do not know what I write really!
The writings of a fool.

But I love my madness and foolish attitude and behaviour.
Arash

I must study harder. I t is too hard for me to keep up with the world's up to date science. I'm working many hours in front of Net and surffed on. I think it is a big world to discover. After a night with my dear friend, I had many thoughts and feelings deep inside. I think I should be more considerate and I should try not to be worry about the situation out and about the future. I think God will give everybody what they expect. I think my friends are the best sources God gifted me and that I can trust them and they can trust me is the core of our friendship. Let say thank you The Great Great Almighty God for all gifts you gave us. Nowadays despite my busy situation I find some time to think about past and future. I find out that we should live in present but considering past and future both. I have had many friends that I want to have information about them and I want to find them even if we have nothing to say. I think I find some of my dreams that I want to follow and make them come true. I want to change, change myself and my world. Lets begin with study now. HEY GET UP BOY.
Arash

Hi,
Let me say that I wish I could survive and do not get lost. You know it is so hard to write three weblogs and study and WORK and be a soldier. I hope the damned military service ended soon but it will last till Feb 2004 (End of This Iranian Year). I'm so determined about future now and I think I know what I want to do at last. I'm studying a bit harder this days and I hope I can be ready for a big war at the last of this year (Jan 2004). You know I find out that I love medicine and when I visit patients I get energy from them. I get so happy when I can determine the problem and I can suggest a solution. But unfortunately I find out that our today's medicine can solve so little that I can say we just solve nothing. Believe me or not I get tired of this situation and I think we need to improve!!!! but to where and how H DO NOT KNOW!!!!. God bless those who say such general sentences.
Arash
YELL OUT FOR SUCH A FOOL LIKE ME!

I started to study at last! You know as a medical doctor it is a pitty to say I will start studying. All medical doctors should study medicine regularly but here in Iran the situation is a little bit different. I'm happy that I started to study at last and I hope I can continue it forever.
Arash

I should be so busy with my studyings but I can not read a word. My senses is out of my control. I do not know which is more important and basic to make this situation for me, passing away of iranian twins and foolish behaviour of world doctors, or the 8th of july. I 'm somehow depressed today. You know I think I need you my friend here beside me, to encourage me. I need a hand to keep my hands in and help me with my worries.
Arash

Hey A shout out for those doctors do nothing except killing patients.I'm tired of doing medicine for the ease of patients and against them. All drugs have side effects and all operations have post operative outcomes. I do not know who said to us to seperate the Iranian twins.
Yell out

Hi,
I'm too lazy in writing my opinions but I think I enjoy this way of writing if I have the chance to write. Let me start with the situation out there in the streets. I think the way which university students taken is somehow wrong although it is better than nothing. They have rights to say what they wanted but they should keep their calmness and use their mind to get it.
It is enough for now I think the only thing I learned well is too keep my thoughts in mind and for myself and for that it is too hard for me to write.
Arash